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Helping Heuristics

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Revision as of 04:40, 5 January 2020 by Stan (talk | contribs)
(Items in the above list that are marked with an asterisk have my notes in them)

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Practice progressive methods for helping others, receiving help, and asking for help

  • Groups of 3: two participants interacting face-to-face in the roles of client and coach plus one observer
  • During four rounds the person in the role of client shares a challenge he or she is passionate about.
  • While the observer pays close attention, the coach responds in a sequence of patterns that is different for each round as follows.
  1. Quiet Presence
  2. Guided Discovery
  3. Loving Provocation
  4. Process Mindfulness

WHY? Purposes

  • Reduce/eliminate common errors and traps when people are giving or asking for help
  • Change unwanted giving help patterns that include: premature solutions; unneeded advice; adding pressure to force use of advice; moving to next steps too quickly; trying too hard not to overhelp
  • Change unwanted asking for help patterns that include: mistrusting; not sharing real problem; accepting help without ownership; looking for validation, not help; resenting not getting enough


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